So...
Went back to Sweden for 2 weeks and that was really nice, haven't been back for a year so it was about time. Went to a christening, a good friend of mine had a baby a while back and I was given the honour of being a godfather....some responsibility I must say. Lovely little boy and I'll do my best to corrupt his mind, hehe.
Another thing that hit me is that things are so much easier in Sweden, and cheaper. Just things like rent and food I kind of forget about when I'm in London. Almost felt like moving back just for the simplicity of it all but it's not time for that just yet. I got other plans to see to first. One of them being to save up some money, do a TEFL course and head off to Asia and work as a teacher.
But we'll see what happens...first there's summer....
I'll try to update this site more often from now on...
Boy bands
Just as a note this isn't something I'm bragging about, it's just that I find the whole thing hilarious.
Most of us are aware of the great boy bands of our time such as Back Street Boys, NSYNC, Take That, East 17, New Kids On The Block and Westlife. Some of these have made comebacks or are in the progress of re-releasing new and old material. This might appeal to some but I'm devastated, however I can't help but laugh when I think of what I witnessed this Saturday. Oh the singing that we all know so well and the choreography that is far beyond this world.
I saw the comeback of the ole mighty Boyzone.
Hilarity ensures.
Comments seem futile from this point beyond... sigh
Internet - Good or Evil plus other random nonsense
As my internet access has been very limited lately I have been pushed to reclusion from the people I keep in touch with on a regular basis. I usually check my emails daily and most of the time you'll find me on MSN and I tend to use internet more than telephones when it comes to arranging to meet up with people. To some extent one could say that I was partially addicted to the online world and all it had to offer. I've now had 3 months without internet at home and I'm not that bothered anymore and checking my emails once a week is more than enough, even thou I'm on the +30 messages in my inbox each time which can be both fun and tedious depending on the amount of "You've won 1 Million dollars", "Hi, I'm a priest from Ethiopia, please send money now", various newsletter subscriptions and facebook notifications of someone tagging me in a picture or sending me a message.
I used to feel like I had to be online as a part of my daily routine just to see what I could find next and what I could spend a couple of hours on and that if I wasn't online I might miss 10 minutes of formality saying hi to friends back home just for the sake of keeping in touch. Not that I don't want to talk with them but the conversations usually follow a certain pattern with "how are you?" and "how is Uni going?" and the occasional "have you got a girlfriend/boyfriend?" and the insignificant but yet so common "what's the weather like?". And it's seldom more than that but I guess our life's aren't as intertwined as they used to be so it's natural and we can't or don't' want to cut that bond we once had when we all lived in the same place. Not sure if I'm forgotten about over here or if I've changed as a person and that we don't have as much in common any more. Could also be the fact that guys in general aren't the best at those kind of things and that we don't need the confirmation that someone is our friend, maybe we are so good friends that we don't need to stay in touch and I believe that's possible as things are usually back to normal once we meet up. Unfortunately I don't have any good female friends back in Sweden so I can't say if there's any difference and family is not included in this irrelevant social analysis of my life, various thoughts and behavioural patterns. Random thought number 2; Why is it that I have so many good female friends here but not in Sweden? Hmm....I'll leave that for another day.
I also find that I spend more time talking with people I don't know that well or that I haven't known for that long and that we somehow open up to each other more than people I'm good friends with. Maybe the anonymity of the online world does that to people. As a note these are people I know who they are and have met but don't really hang out with, but from what we've shared online I know more about them than I do about some of my childhood friends. Thoughts and opinions about certain things and personal information about family and friends and any problems they might have. Maybe I'm easy to talk with and that's why they open up to me and the fact that I know how to deal with a lot of things make me a good source of advice for them. I think that people want an honest opinion from someone who isn't clouded by a close friendship and the tension of talking about serious issues face to face. I might not be as honest in a normal conversation as it is instant and an online one gives you those extra seconds to think out a decent answer.
So what else held me by this devilish grip? Well not much to be honest. Keeping active on communities can be a chore and as it is now I can't always be bothered to reply to 10 wall posts on facebook as I'm sitting in a rundown internet café in south Ealing and paying per 30 minutes I sit there and this follows on to everything else I used to do online. I often spent hours looking at videos, Youtube, or hours on end trying to find new interesting music, films and games that I could consider buying.
Remaining hours were left to play online games or reading through forums or web comics.
Was also hooked on Wikipedia as a source of, somewhat, reliable information for everything I might come across that I don't fully understand or want to know more about.
But it's small things that I really miss, the constant source of information and comfort of just being able to check if there are any delays on the tube or when and what is on at the cinema or the results from the handball clubs back home or look up the name of the actor in that movies I watched the other day. I can easily live without these things and I've proved that to myself now but it just feels like a shame to let all that information go to waste as we all strive to be as comfortable as possible. Might even go as far as saying that it's the way of the 21st century.
So has my life changed in any way as I don't have a connection at home? Has my social life improved as I'm forced to occupy myself with different things? Unfortunately not. It's not that I don't want to do things but the problem here is that I'm now working 5 days a week and that I find it hard to find people willing to do things after eight a clock in the evening, as I work till seven, and I don't really feel like going out to do things on my own. Weekends are the same and I'm left with Sundays and Mondays off so going clubbing till 6 a clock in the morning on a Friday can be done but might not be recommended when you start work at 11. Of course these are only bad excuses and it's up to me to sort something out instead of staying inside watching TV or DVD's and playing videogames. I have to take my spare time into my own hands and make the effort to plan something and then just do it. I want to get out and meet new people and by staying in I'm not really getting any closer to that desire.
My follow-up question here is of course "where do you go to meet new people?", and I'm not talking about going out to the local pub or meeting new people as in trying to chat someone up. I want to expand my social network, make new friends and by doing that learn new things and get a different view on things. I've had the same friends here in London for the last three years and I'm not complaining but I want to see what else London has to offer.
So where are these new people I want to meet? Are they hidden away waiting to befriend a socially starved Swede? Should I join some sort of club, maybe get involved in the whole vegan scene a bit more or perhaps something that plays to my nerdy interests?
I could always walk up to strangers in the street and ask them to be my friend and just maybe that will work. It's however unlikely as I find most Londoners are very reserved when it comes to talking to complete strangers on public transport and in the middle of the street. But we can always play the number game, if we ask a hundred people at least one person is bound to say something interesting.
Well enough with the ramblings...this was actually written a couple of weeks back and as I update this we actually just got internet t home but I feel like it's still worth a place here.
I played the English national team in handball.
I don't usually boast about things like this but I thought this deserved a mentioning. I was part of the English league All-star team who played an exhibition game against the English national team that's aiming for the London Olympics 2012. We won with 37-28. My own performance for the day was far from what I expect from myself but it was fun anyway.
You can read more at:
After our game we got to see two top European teams play as a warm up for their upcoming champions league games. The Hungarian team Veszprem beat Danish side Viborg with 31-26.
http://www.sportfocus.com/webpro/handball/nlstory.cfm?ID=25191&NLID=42045
London bonanza
I haven't written anything in ages so I thought it was time for a short update of my life as well as referring to my previous entry.
I got my final mark and I'm very happy to say that I've graduated with a first class degree. Not sure what that means in regards to getting jobs or anything but I couldn't do better so I don't really have to worry about that.
However. On the job front there?s nothing new so I'll keep on looking. I need connections within the media business. Well well. Better find something soon as money is essential if you want to pay bills, travel to various places in London and eat food as a mean of survival.
Found a new house so I'll be moving to Ealing in a couple of weeks. Some new people to live with and a new location. Not 100% sure what to think of that so far but I think it will be alright. I'll miss Shepherds Bush but then again it's just 20 minutes away on the tube.
What happens now?
Moved into a house that was way bellow the Swedish standards I was used to, but then I'm not fussed and adapt easily to everything. Orange wallpapers and a brown carpet in my room, no common room of any sort unless you count the conservatory which was freezing for most of the time, a really small kitchen and a shower with no water pressure whatsoever. On top of all that I was now living with three complete strangers, a mumbling Englishman, a crazy dutch/portugese girl and an energetic/hyperactive Swedish girl.
With time they all turned out to be decent people, haha, I was probably just as weird to them as they were to me. I enjoyed living with people since you always had some to talk and hang out with and you almost become a small dysfunctional family.
University started and I found myself on top of what was asked of me as I'd done most of the things before. It made me question if it was going to be like this for three years or if it was going to get better. It got better. As to the whole language issue I had no problems understanding what was said in lectures and writing can always be spellchecked. Worth mentioning is that everyone had to do a key skills test in the beginning of the course to test your English, maths and computer skills. This was to see if you needed special tutoring, and if I may brag my English grammar skills surpassed many of the English peoples which I found very surprising. Speaking however was harder as I had to think about what to say in Swedish before I said it in English and after I made up my mind about what to say they've all moved on to a different subject. I could easily get myself understood but I was often fishing for hard words and had to use 5 words instead of one to explain something. As I improved further and got more confident I slowly started to think in English and I can now speak and write without thinking about translating it from Swedish first.
The first year went on without any hassle and I passed all my modules. I spent a lot of time with the mumbling Englishman (Jon) and his English friends so that helped a great deal with learning how English is actually spoken. I also got to see some of the cultural differences not seen at all among the people I hang out with back in Sweden. It was interesting to see how accepted certain things are over here but at times it felt like you were in a movie since it all felt so unreal. I've now gained a different perspective and am way more accepting to this compared to before I moved to London.
Second year of Uni was coming and right before that started I moved in with Jon and two friends of his from his course. We soon became friends and we're almost like a small family at times. I must say I really enjoy living with people, there's always someone around that you can talk and hang out with. If you need your privacy you always have your own room to go to. By living with other people you push your rent down since it would be hard to afford a place on your own as a student. Of course there are other issues you have to deal with when living like this. Paying bills and cleaning duties can cause irritation if not dealt with in the right way.
Second year went just fine as well but I felt more pressure since you now had to get a good mark compared to the first year when all you had to do was pass the modules. The pressure to get a first can be quite tough and I've always been quite slack when it comes to school and now Uni work. It was often a case of last minute efforts instead of dealing with the assignments in time. In a way I've been really lucky so far as I was still able to get good marks. Well, enough with the bragging.
Third year came as well and now the pressure built even more as you could tell the lecturers demanded more from you regarding quantity and quality. The two first years were so easy in comparison and I've never worked as hard with assignments as I did in the last year. Hardly any last minute efforts here, well a few but still a big difference to previous years. So now I'm sitting here waiting to hear what my marks might be and if I'll get my degree at all. Will I get a first or perhaps a 2.1? Who knows and I can't be bothered to worry about it, nothing good will come out of that anyway.
Is it time to grow up and sort out my life? I hope not. I want to be who I am now, or maybe I've already transcended without realising it. I'm. So I guess it's time to start looking for that.
Will I be able to find anything related to what I've studied or am I doomed to a life at the local Tesco? We'll just have to wait and see.I love London and feel that I want to stay here. I even have friends here now, believe it or not.
There are also thoughts of heading to Japan in a couple of months to see if I can find a job there as an English teacher. I might even look for a job in Sweden; in that case it will be in Stockholm or Gothenburg. Have no plans to move back to my hometown. My name was mentioned in the local newspaper regarding returning home to play handball with one of the local teams, I wasn't aware that that was my intention. Haha. If I run out of money and can't find a job in London that might be what will happen but not as it stands now. But nothing's been decided so far and that's how I like it, to take things as they come and just enjoy each and every moment.
To begin with: summer. And then we'll see...
New pictures
Am I a nerd perhaps?
I'm, per definition, what you would call a nerd. Certain interests of mine are associated with being a nerd and I spend a lot of time in front of my computer. I'm not one of those stereotypical nerds with glasses and acne problems. I do have a social life besides my nerdy interests and I exercise regularly. I believe I'm well balanced regarding how I disburse my time between my nerdy life and the other parts of my life. I don't get lost completely in my interests and forget about the world around and I make sure I prioritize the right things.
You might wonder so far from this brief introduction what my nerdy interests are.
First of all I'm a videogame fanatic. I've played numerous games on all sorts of consoles and there's no way I can mention them all but here are a few.
NES classics like Super Mario, Mega Man, Zelda and Bubble Bobble. Old SNES classics like Zelda: A link to the Past, Terranigma, Breath of Fire 1 and 2, Soul Blazer, Chrono Trigger, Super Castlevania, Illusion of Gaia, Final Fantasy 4-6, Earthbound and Secret of Mana 1 and 2. Classic Sega games like Sonic, Toe-Jam and Earl, Super Hang On, Alex Kid and Phantasy Star. Playstation games like Final Fantasy 7-9, Final Fantasy Tactics, Xenosaga, Resident Evil 1 and 2, Alundra and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.
Playstation 2 games like Katamari Damacy, Final Fantasy X and X-2, Metal Gear Solid; Snake Eater, Star Ocean, PES, GTA Vice City and San Andreas, Resident Evil 4 and God of War.
Zelda: The Windwaker for the Gamecube and plenty of old adventure games for PC like the Monkey Island games, Normality, Day of the Tentacle, Sam and Max, Beneath A steel Sky and Simon the Sorcerer.
All these games are games I remember and enjoyed playing and they all have a nostalgic value to me. They might not be the best games and I've probably forgotten quite a few as well.
For the last couple of years I've been a Playstation guy. Xbox and Gamecube doesn't have the same range of games that interests me so it seemed like the most obvious choice. I'm really into my RPG's(Role Playing Games) such as the Final Fantasy games and I'm currently playing Final Fantasy 12.
Video games give me an escape from reality and gives me the opportunity to experience things not possible in real life. To save the world, fly dragons, roll big balls or freely use different sorts of magic. To feel like you're helping someone and making a difference to the world you're currently playing in. To feel with the characters and feel happy when things go well or feel sad when someone dies. All these aspects make video games really enjoyable to me and the hours easily pass by.
Another game related activity I really enjoy is the whole interactive game play that you see more and more of these days. Stepmania/DDR and similar games where you dance by pressing arrows with your feet at the right time is really addictive as well as it gives you some exercise. Guitar hero works on a similar basis but instead of dancing and pressing on arrows with your feet you use a plastic guitar and press buttons to simulate the playing of a guitar.
Nintendo Wii with its motion sensitive controller leads you into a different path of video games where you play by moving the controller to be able to control your actions. Wii Sports with its tennis, boxing and bowling can give you a reasonably realistic experience since you face the TV and swing the controller as if you're actually playing tennis or box with them as if you're boxing. To add further to the exercise it is recommended to by wrist weights and play with those, it does work and you will feel it the day after. Wii is still new and I believe we can expect to see more advanced game play as game developers take full use of this technology.
The second thing that is a part of me being a geek is that I am really fascinated with anything that's Asian, especially Japan. In this case we're mainly talking about Japanese Anime and Manga but also Asian movies in general.
I started watching anime, as in being aware of it being anime and not just another cartoon, when I was around 15 and I'm 23 now so it's been a while. First thing I saw was Neon Genesis Evangelion. I was hooked from this point. I clearly remember things like Ninja Scroll(not great) and Flame of Recca from the early days. It was then that I was introduced to Studio Ghibli and Tonari no Totoro. Studio Ghibli does something with their movies that just mesmerises me. They are often quite political but also very entertaining as a full out family movie. I could ramble on for hours on how amazing they are but instead I'll just mention some of their work and then it's up to you to experience it.
Spirited Away, Mononoke Hime, Pom Poko, Cat returns, Howls Moving Castle and the first animated movie I cried to: Grave of the Fireflies.
Anime fascinates me mostly because it has no boundaries and the story can involve exactly anything. Giant robots, high school drama, fighting or just an epic adventure in a magical kingdom.
There are so many series I've seen and the number of hours spent are ridiculous so I won't even try to estimate but I'll give you a few numbers to think about it. An average episode is around 20 minutes. A series is usually 13 or 26 episodes but there are plenty of series that goes over 100 episodes(One Piece over 220 at least and counting). I've probably seen more than a 100 series so I'll leave the rest to you.
A couple of series worth mentioning that I remember from the years of watching are: GTO, Rurouni Kenshin, Monster, Full Metal Alchemist, Samurai Champloo, Grappler Baki, Planetes, Golden Boy, Cowboy Bebop, Gash Bell, Air Gear, I my me strawberry eggs, Initial D, Welcome to the NHK, Paranoia Agent and many many more.
Most people do however react when you say you watch cartoons and comments like "That's for kids" or the ever so common "I can't watch anything that isn't in English". I must say that all those people are loosing out but it's their loss and not mine.
I've read quite a bit of manga as well but nowhere near as much as the amount of anime I've seen. Got a small collection of books but it's not really something to brag about.
Another fascination is Asian movies. After I saw Seven Samurais by Akira Kurosawa I was caught up in a way of storytelling not often seen in the western world. The difference in narrative compared to Hollywood is great and I enjoy new things. Quite a few Asian movies can be hard to comprehend but after a while you understand what is going on. American movies are often to obvious since they think that the viewer is stupid and needs every detail explained. The issue of "Everyone looks the same!" is just matter of getting used to it. I've seen a lot and now I'm quite good at telling where in Asia people are from by how they look. Japanese, Chinese, Thai or perhaps Korean?
I enjoy the old Chinese martial arts movies not because they are so good all the time but because they are often hilarious. Modern Japanese and Korean cinema is also really great or really obscure. HK director Stephen Chow with Shaolin Soccer, God of Cookery and Kung Fu Hustle is one of my favourites. Japanese director Takashi Miike is another favourite and creates compelling films but also low budget movies that you'll never see the likes off. Happiness of the Katakuris, Ichi the Killer and Visitor Q are movies I'm not sure I wanted to see but I'm kind of glad I did since I'll probably never see anything like it from anyone else.
Korean director Chan-Wook Park, who has directed Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Oldboy and Lady Vengeance, has a dark and beautiful style and is well acclaimed. Thai comedy Iron Ladies about a gay volleyball team, based on a true story, is really funny and probably the only Thai movie I've seen.
Other movies well worth mentioning are Infernal Affairs(Trilogy), 2046, Battle Royale, Blue Spring, A Bittersweet Life and Nobody Knows.
I also find Asian women the most beautiful among all different ethnicities. This probably derives from my obsession with Asian things but it could also be because it's something I didn't see very often back in the north of Sweden. However liking girls detracts from the importance of being a nerd.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to warn you about some crazy Asian related things. First up on that list is Hentai, anime porn. Violent, crazy and often very bizarre.
Number two is the Japanese Guinea Pig box set which is basically four or five films showing torture for 40 minutes. Not really much of a story and to its defence I must say it's quite well done for its time and with what I guess a limited budget. There were rumours of it actually being real back when it came out. If you enjoy watching people getting cut in their eyes or pulling out nails you'll love this.
Other interests of mine that gets comments is the fact that I do Parkour (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkour). "What's that running around and jumping over things?", "Up to no good are you?". I just ignore it as I ignore any comments about what I like and do. I'm proud of my interests and I really enjoy them and I intend to do so for a long time. I know I mentioned me being a nerd but to me there isn't really such a thing as being a nerd. It's just a matter of a difference in views and interests. If someone likes model trains I would probably consider that person a nerd but that's just because I don't share his interest and not many people do. Be proud of who you are and feel free to stand out, it's good to be an individual and not a part of everyone and everything else.
Girlfriends and break ups....
Time once again for my thoughts to be expressed through the medium of text. This time I'm more specific about things than I usually am and even more personal. I mean no harm with what I write.
A while back I wrote "Happy days are here again...sigh...". For those who hasn't figured it out already I can tell you that it was a result from me feeling down about a girl I'd just broken up with.
I wrote that life goes on and I still stand by that.
It was a good break up, if there are any. No one cheated on anyone as far as I know and we decided to still be friends. I was devastated and it wasn't what I wanted at the moment but I'm realistic and deal with problems as they appear.
I wasn't very happy for a while after that but I made sure to keep myself occupied and I thank all my friends that made sure we had a good time as we always do. I've dealt with being sad and I can honestly say that I don't want her back. She was and most likely still is an amazing girl and I appreciate the time we had together. It's been a while since I felt like that for someone and it's good for me to know that I can. It wasn't the longest relationship by any means but feelings came remarkably fast. I think it's important to say that I hold no grudge whatsoever and I'm looking forward to see what the future has planned for me.
After I broke up with the girl I was with before this one I was devastated and I thought I'd never find anyone like her. We broke up under similar circumstances and we decided to be friends after a four year relationship from an early age. I was ok as long as I didn't see her and I lived a normal life and I didn't think about her at all. However when we met, all emotions came back and I was more or less a wreck even thou I didn't want to. It took me about 8 months to get over her completely and now we have a fully functional friend based relationship. She has a new boyfriend and that doesn't bother me one bit. I'm over her and I've come to realise that she might not have been my perfect match, no offence of course. We had an amazing time and she was my first love and I'm glad it was her. I believe that relationships started when you're young won't last a life time but there are of course exceptions.
This experience, from my previous relationship, helped me a lot when dealing with my latest break up and things were sorted out faster. I've matured as a person and know how to deal with my emotions in a good way. In a break up there is always one person that is considerably more sad than the other one. I've taken on this role twice now but that's ok by me. I've come back every time and I always smile.
I see this girl at the university quite often and I found it hard in the beginning but now it's alright. Things are however not always as they appear. I've tried to keep it all on a friendly basis and said hi and asked her how she was doing as you would with anyone you know.
She has however been avoiding me and acted weird whenever I appear. To this there are a few options on why. Maybe there's more behind it all than I first thought and she wants no contact with me due to those reasons. She might still think I want her back and therefore feels uncomfortable when I'm around. She feels bad due to the break up, guilty conscious and all that.
To be honest I don't care what the reason is but I find it easier to tell someone what I think and feel instead of avoiding them when we're bound to bump into each other ant Uni. I did that kind of thing when I was around 13 to a girl and it's not really a nice thing to do I think.
I don't expect anything but a bit of honesty would be nice, if not for me but for her own sake. I wasn't the one that mentioned us being friends but I would like it to be that way but it seems she can't deal with that.
So be it. Such a small problem that I've probably wasted valuable time writing this. I'll keep up my smile and I will talk to her if I see her until she says something. If only to annoy her or due to me actually wondering how she's doing makes little difference at the moment. It's quite easy to tell me to fuck off, I don't mind.
I will not hide behind people and pretend to be on the phone when it's obvious I can see her. But that's me, maybe I've missed out on how to deal with a break up.
I hold no grudge towards her and I'm not angry at anyone. It's not in my nature to be angry at people no matter what they've done. Whatever she does with her life from now on I'll support her but from the looks of things I'll have no further part in her life.
I'm ok with that. It's a shame thou...
Girl on the Tube....
What do you do when you see an amazing girl on the tube and looks and smiles are exchanged? You are well aware that she will get off shortly and you’ll probably never see her again. Do you seize the moment and approach her? Do you really have the courage to do that? What do you say? Would that make you look like some pervert or is it a sweet gesture?
I, as you might have guessed so far, did nothing. I thought long and hard about it but then the train arrived at her stop and she left with a smile. I didn’t have a clue what to say and the fact that she was with a friend or a family member made the whole scenario even harder. Should you just give them your number or email and then let them make the decision? Is it appropriate to do something like that or should you respect other peoples privacy while commuting? If this would’ve been in a club no one would care if I approached her and neither would she. Is it more flattering and does it show greater initiative if you do something like that? As always I think to much and the opportunity disappears even before I can make a decision. I know now where she lives, maybe, and that area isn’t the biggest but then again this is London and I don’t want or have the time to stalk people.
Damn you rules of society. Who really decides what’s right and wrong anyway? Should I care what others might think at all? For another time I might do things differently, most likely not thou….
Valentines day!
What a blessing for all us single people out there. We don’t have to spend a pound on anyone except ourselves and we can distance ourselves from society even further. Sarcasm and irony are my best friends, Hehe. I enjoy seeing people freaking out about what to get their partner and what to do. Take it easy. It’s just as good as any other day so make the most of it as you always should. Commercialised in the same way as Christmas but I would most likely make an effort if I had someone to share it with but I sure as hell don’t mind. If I were to worry and get depressed because I’m alone on this specific day what good would it do. Nothing’s going to change if you do that so just deal with it and try to have a blast with your friends instead. I know I will.
Happy valentines day to you all…what a joyous occasion.
Happy days are here again...sigh...
Life is a mystery , some of us are more aware of this than others. Things don’t always turn out the way you wish but most of the time you’re aware that there’s nothing you can do about it anyway. These are the hardest things to deal with. If you’ve done what you can and things still don’t plan out you might feel bad about it but you know inside that what you’ve done was your best and it is therefore easier to deal with. When things are outside your control you can’t do anything else than accept the inevitable and try to keep up your spirit. Time is the best cure for most things, doesn’t make it easier but you’ll forget soon enough or at least not care as much as you might do in this moment. I accept all things in my life with a smile on my face, or at least I try. I always take in consideration that things could always be much worse and that there’s nothing that will change certain things and worrying about them will just make you mad. I don’t like everything that happens to me or certain things I have to do but I endure them and live on trying to learn from everything.
I’ve so far in my life experienced things that made me smile and laugh so hard that I‘ve cried. I’ve cried so much that I’ve laughed and I’ve felt like there was no tomorrow and that nothing else mattered. I’ve been madly in love and I’ve had people who loved me. I’ve felt more or less every kind of emotion at one point or another in my life. All these feelings has shaped me into who I am now and I know how to deal with my emotions in a healthy way. Like I said, I’ve been sad but that hasn’t stopped me in any way and it never will. Just because things go against your inner wishes doesn’t mean you should stay inside everyday crying or feeling sorry about yourself. Life goes on and for all we know we only have one chance so we might as well make the best of it.
I’m quite an emotional person but my appearance and the way I am would easily deceive anyone. My family would most likely think I held it all inside but just because I don’t cry in front of them doesn’t mean anything. My personal opinion is that I think it is healthy to show your emotions when there’s a time and a place for it. I don’t believe you should keep things to yourself. You should always be honest with what you think and feel and share it when necessary and appropriate.
I find that I have to share what I think with people it might concern and I would probably go mad if I kept it to myself. Not everyone like this approach but it works for me. Another thing is that writing this blog has a therapeutic value to me. I share what I think and somewhat what I feel with other people and I find it relieving.
These are some of the things on my mind at the moment, all due to me feeling a bit down at the moment but I’m trying to be realistic about it and think ahead no matter how hard it might be. I’ve done what I can do and I don’t regret anything. It’s all a part of life and good things are bound to happen again so I can’t stop living now.
Music maestro!!!
I love music and I believe I need music in my life to an certain extent. Depending on what I listen to I feel relaxed, happy, sad or sometimes I just don’t feel anything. Some music is best to listen to in your car, some music is great to dance all night long to and some music makes you want to sing along really loud. I listen to different genres and would like to believe my taste is quite good but I know a lot of people would disagree with what I think is brilliant.
At the moment I mainly listen to Hip-Hop and there’s something about it that makes me feel good. It might be the rhythm or maybe the lyrics that I can relate to or maybe a chemical reaction when I here certain wavelengths of sound. It’s hard to analyze why I like it and it’s hard to explain. One thing is for sure thou, I can easily tell good Hip-Hop from shit Hip-Hop but then once again it’s down to individual preference.
Worth mentioning here is that the Hip-Hop I’m listening to is not the commercial kind, like 50 Cent, Eminem or P Diddy for that matter. I listen to groups like Soul Position, Roots Manuva, Herbaliser, Blue Scholars, Jurassic 5, Dilated People, Blackalicious and Ugly Duckling to mention a few. These might not be the most well know for the average MTV viewer or radio listener but more for those how appreciate Hip-Hop on another level as I’d like to say. By no means am I trying to say that I’m better than anyone but someone who really appreciates rock might say that one band is for the hardcore rock fans where something else is more commercially liable and for the masses.
I don’t mind rock/pop or whatever genre or subgenre you might want to call it. Hard rock and metal is nothing for me but I can listen to it without nay emotions whatsoever, back in the days I even had some Iron Maiden albums that I listened to with great pleasure. Further back I enjoyed artists like E-type whom I greatly despise nowadays.
I accept most things here in life and I fully respect peoples opinions as long as they can base them on something and explain why they like or dislike something. I don’t expect everyone to care as much as I do about music or like the same things as I do and many people just listen for the sake of it more than caring about what they are actually listening to.
There is however one thing that gets on my nerves more than anything else. The thing I’m talking about is commercial shit music. I can take the fact that something I like is shared among millions of people and played throughout radio and TV, I like Red Hot Chilli Peppers and I believe they produce great music and a lot of people would probably agree. Their songs are played on the radio and TV and is quite commercial but nowhere near as often as some music. When something is played twice every hour on the same radio channel something is wrong. When something is obviously shit and you don’t hear a single person saying that they like a specific track and you hear it more or less everywhere you go you know something is terribly wrong. When you go out to a club and you hear the same track 6 times in one night you know you’ve reached the point of no return and that the suffering can begin. This was the case for the ever so popular track “Boten Anna” by Basshunter, played throughout the whole of Sweden for more or less the whole summer. Most of the time I can accept something for what it is but this track is so shit that I just couldn’t deal with it and I would verbally attack anyone who said anything good about it. I don’t know anyone that likes this track so I can’t understand why it became so popular. I know that the music industry pumps out loads of money into certain releases every year to make them the hit of the summer and I must admit they’ve done a good job and I’m sure Mr. Basshunter laughs as he goes off to the bank to collect his share. I do wonder if he likes the music he produces or if it’s just a way to earn some easy money. Who can forget Dr. Bombay and his shenanigans without wondering if he took himself serious. Same thing with Günter and the Sunshine girls. It’s hardly a fact of producing music so great that everyone is amazed of its greatness and therefore supports it fully. Why is Sweden the source of all evil when it comes to producing shit music. Is it a part of our nature to know how to take something that is shit and then milk as much money as possible out of it. Swedish producers are behind a lot of things such as Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears and I respect them for their knowledge of making something that appeals to so many even thou I don’t like it.
It upsets me that people don’t know better when it comes to things like this and when the only response to why they like it is that it’s catchy, I can’t do anything except cry out in shear despair.
Of course this is a collection of the worst music on the market and that’s bad in its own way due to the lack of knowledge and good taste among the public that supports it. What annoys me even further is when there is something that I like that gets so commercial that they ruin my whole experience and I grow to hate the track that I first liked. An example of this is the track Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. I heard this track way before it came out to the masses and I really enjoyed it as it is a catchy and well produced track. However things took and turn for the worse a couple of weeks later. Wherever I went I heard this track and I started to get more and more annoyed. After a month of hearing it constantly more or less every day I started to really hate it and all that just because they had to push it out to the masses.
Why do they have to ruin everything by overexposing anything with the slightest potential to earn them money. It shouldn’t have to be like this.
I’ve now made a point out of not supporting commercial music and instead go for the underground alternative and smaller artists that doesn’t get the same kind of attention. I like being original and listen to music that not that many people have heard of. I find it gives me something to feel good about and I’ll gladly share it with the people I know and others that are interested.
For me it’s about enjoying good music when you hear it. But please stop the madness of the commercial mumbo-jumbo around it all. Enough is enough.
There is another side of this discussion as well and that’s the side of enjoying shit music just because it is so shit that you can’t do anything but laugh. Examples of this kind of music is more or less anything from the early and mid nineties. Why not enjoy and laugh at Sunchyme with Dario G or Ninja Rap with Vanilla Ice, both of them preferably with the respective video. Or why not enjoy the glory of Germany with 666 and Scooter, which will leave you with deep emotional scars as you go as mad as the next artist I’m about to suggest you listen to. It’s no other than Dr. Bombays Scottish alter ego Dr. MacDoo or why not his Mexican protégé Carlito. If this doesn’t make you mad as a hatter nothing will. If you really want to push your luck you should try to find "Who the Fuck Is James Brown” by Traumatic Stress.
2007 here we come...and goodbye 2006
It’s been a while since last time I wrote here. Not actually thinking about anything special at the moment but be sure there will be soon enough. I’m always thinking as you all know but I guess not to the same extent at the moment. I’m quite happy with my life and my surroundings, things can always be better but also a lot worse. People do have a tendency to complain over the most tedious things. I always put everything in perspective and therefore I’m never disappointed (at least not as much as you could be) and still happy when good things happen to me.
Instead of philosophically analysing things I thought I’d do a recap of what’s happening in my life since I last wrote anything.
Went to watch Dilated People in Camden, amazing in so many ways. Will try to get hold of the pictures that Carl took. For those who doesn’t know who they are: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilated_Peoples
Were planning to watch The Roots as well but Ticketweb said there was something fishy with the payment so as we arrived at the gig we found out we had no tickets. Brilliant…at least send me an email saying there are problems. Bastards. Any who…spent the night at a pub instead…not really the same thing however. But still satisfactory.
Christmas came and I went back home to Piteå in Sweden to spend it with my family. Nice, cold and snowy as I arrived at the airport in Lulea. Not really what we had in London as I left, plus ten and possibly a bit of rain. Two days later the everything was green, surely we wouldn’t get a green Christmas? The day before it started snowing again, happy days.
Had a big feast of vegan goodness for Christmas dinner. Everything a vegan could desire for a good Christmas. Santa came later, actually got some presents. Got money, a jumper, manga, some books and other miscellaneous items. More than happy with my gifts.
Went out Christmas day to “Statt”, quite expensive and most people were older than me. Had a laugh with my friends, the occasional dancing before I went home to eat the some of the leftovers from the day before. The clubbing in Piteå is beyond this world, and not in a good way. Nice to see people you like and all but music and atmosphere leaves more to be desired. The music is worthless beyond recognition, makes me think that I should get on the whole DJ thing to teach everyone back home what music is all about. But laziness took overhand.
Played a handball game with a team of old players and people returning home for Christmas against the local team. We lost with 4 goals or something but that didn’t really matter, had a laugh at least.
For new years we got together at Tomas house for dinner and after that people were consuming alcoholic substances, some more than other and some handling it better than others. Were quite a lot of people of various sorts but that’s a good thing. The only downside was that is was kind of a sausage fest, not that I’m currently looking for anything but the girl to boy ratio should be better that 1 to 10. Just creates a different atmosphere that I find more appealing than just hanging around guys. Went outside at twelve and watched the fireworks. Soon after that Me, Robert and Mattias felt that we’d had enough so we left for some Stepmania and some Frets on Fire (Like guitar hero but you play it on your Keyboard).
Got home around 05:00 and just like that it was a new year. 2007, what will it hold in store for me? I’m glad I don’t know. That would just ruin the surprise.
Went back home to London a couple of days later, spent almost a whole day at the airport and got around 6 hours of sleep in 2 days. Slept for 15 hours when I went to bed Friday night. Wonderful.
Nice to be back in the big city as well. Going back home makes you realize the downsides of Piteå and how ignorant some people are to the world outside. I’m saying anything bad about my friends or my family, love them all to bits. It’s the town itself and the mentality among people that tiers me. There would be absolutely nothing to do if I didn’t have my family and my friends there, a lot better in the summer but still.
Pictures from Christams and new Years can be seen at http://www.rewind.pixbox.se
So what else is going on in my life right now then?
Got a shit load of Uni work to do and I’m slowly getting there. Last run before I get new modules in February so I’d better keep it up. Got a big ass dissertation coming up soon, 8000 words about open source software within the media industry. Lovely.
Got my friends around me and they’re always a laugh so that’s all good.
The girl I’ve written about is however in Germany at the moment and I don’t know when or if she’s coming back. Just guess I have to wait and see what happens with that, I‘m willing to wait thou.
Girls work in mysterious ways as they say. (that is a topic as good as any for a future blog entry, quite a lot I could write about that…hmm)
Keep it foolish and take it sleazy my friends…
My life in pictures
My life in pictures. Various happenings and day to day situations for those who are interested. These are the kind of people I associate with when I’m in either London or Piteå. They are all mad…maybe that’s why we get along so well…takes one to understand one…or whatever you say.
keep on smiling folks.
http://www.rewind.pixbox.se