trahn

As my internet access has been very limited lately I have been pushed to reclusion from the people I keep in touch with on a regular basis. I usually check my emails daily and most of the time you'll find me on MSN and I tend to use internet more than telephones when it comes to arranging to meet up with people. To some extent one could say that I was partially addicted to the online world and all it had to offer. I've now had 3 months without internet at home and I'm not that bothered anymore and checking my emails once a week is more than enough, even thou I'm on the +30 messages in my inbox each time which can be both fun and tedious depending on the amount of "You've won 1 Million dollars", "Hi, I'm a priest from Ethiopia, please send money now", various newsletter subscriptions and facebook notifications of someone tagging me in a picture or sending me a message.

I used to feel like I had to be online as a part of my daily routine just to see what I could find next and what I could spend a couple of hours on and that if I wasn't online I might miss 10 minutes of formality saying hi to friends back home just for the sake of keeping in touch. Not that I don't want to talk with them but the conversations usually follow a certain pattern with "how are you?" and "how is Uni going?" and the occasional "have you got a girlfriend/boyfriend?" and the insignificant but yet so common "what's the weather like?". And it's seldom more than that but I guess our life's aren't as intertwined as they used to be so it's natural and we can't or don't' want to cut that bond we once had when we all lived in the same place. Not sure if I'm forgotten about over here or if I've changed as a person and that we don't have as much in common any more. Could also be the fact that guys in general aren't the best at those kind of things and that we don't need the confirmation that someone is our friend, maybe we are so good friends that we don't need to stay in touch and I believe that's possible as things are usually back to normal once we meet up. Unfortunately I don't have any good female friends back in Sweden so I can't say if there's any difference and family is not included in this irrelevant social analysis of my life, various thoughts and behavioural patterns. Random thought number 2; Why is it that I have so many good female friends here but not in Sweden? Hmm....I'll leave that for another day.

I also find that I spend more time talking with people I don't know that well or that I haven't known for that long and that we somehow open up to each other more than people I'm good friends with. Maybe the anonymity of the online world does that to people. As a note these are people I know who they are and have met but don't really hang out with, but from what we've shared online I know more about them than I do about some of my childhood friends. Thoughts and opinions about certain things and personal information about family and friends and any problems they might have. Maybe I'm easy to talk with and that's why they open up to me and the fact that I know how to deal with a lot of things make me a good source of advice for them. I think that people want an honest opinion from someone who isn't clouded by a close friendship and the tension of talking about serious issues face to face. I might not be as honest in a normal conversation as it is instant and an online one gives you those extra seconds to think out a decent answer.

So what else held me by this devilish grip? Well not much to be honest. Keeping active on communities can be a chore and as it is now I can't always be bothered to reply to 10 wall posts on facebook as I'm sitting in a rundown internet café in south Ealing and paying per 30 minutes I sit there and this follows on to everything else I used to do online. I often spent hours looking at videos, Youtube, or hours on end trying to find new interesting music, films and games that I could consider buying.
Remaining hours were left to play online games or reading through forums or web comics.

Was also hooked on Wikipedia as a source of, somewhat, reliable information for everything I might come across that I don't fully understand or want to know more about.
But it's small things that I really miss, the constant source of information and comfort of just being able to check if there are any delays on the tube or when and what is on at the cinema or the results from the handball clubs back home or look up the name of the actor in that movies I watched the other day. I can easily live without these things and I've proved that to myself now but it just feels like a shame to let all that information go to waste as we all strive to be as comfortable as possible. Might even go as far as saying that it's the way of the 21^st century.

So has my life changed in any way as I don't have a connection at home? Has my social life improved as I'm forced to occupy myself with different things? Unfortunately not. It's not that I don't want to do things but the problem here is that I'm now working 5 days a week and that I find it hard to find people willing to do things after eight a clock in the evening, as I work till seven, and I don't really feel like going out to do things on my own. Weekends are the same and I'm left with Sundays and Mondays off so going clubbing till 6 a clock in the morning on a Friday can be done but might not be recommended when you start work at 11. Of course these are only bad excuses and it's up to me to sort something out instead of staying inside watching TV or DVD's and playing videogames. I have to take my spare time into my own hands and make the effort to plan something and then just do it. I want to get out and meet new people and by staying in I'm not really getting any closer to that desire.
My follow-up question here is of course "where do you go to meet new people?", and I'm not talking about going out to the local pub or meeting new people as in trying to chat someone up. I want to expand my social network, make new friends and by doing that learn new things and get a different view on things. I've had the same friends here in London for the last three years and I'm not complaining but I want to see what else London has to offer.

So where are these new people I want to meet? Are they hidden away waiting to befriend a socially starved Swede? Should I join some sort of club, maybe get involved in the whole vegan scene a bit more or perhaps something that plays to my nerdy interests?
I could always walk up to strangers in the street and ask them to be my friend and just maybe that will work. It's however unlikely as I find most Londoners are very reserved when it comes to talking to complete strangers on public transport and in the middle of the street. But we can always play the number game, if we ask a hundred people at least one person is bound to say something interesting.

Well enough with the ramblings...this was actually written a couple of weeks back and as I update this we actually just got internet t home but I feel like it's still worth a place here.